I think we probably all have things we'd like to ask God. There are probably a lot of "Why, God?" questions in your life. I know there are in mine.
But, I keep coming through the questions of why to an even deeper, more troubling question - "Really, Lord?" I confess to you that I am a woman of faith. I have decided to believe in the Jesus of the Bible. I have no reservations whatsoever about that decision. But, that does not mean I do not have questions.
I choose to confess with my mouth, "Jesus is LORD," and believe in my heart God raised Him from the dead. (Romans 8:9-10). But, that does not mean I do not have moments of doubt. And, it certainly does not mean I understand it all.
In fact, I am deeply troubled by something Jesus said. And, confused. And, frankly, I am more-than-a-little upset by these words of Jesus. It is a relatively famous quote. You will probably recognize it. You might even have more significant thoughts about these words than I.
You can find the particular verse I am talking about in Luke 9:23, or similar ones in Matthew 16:34 or Mark 8:34. The New Living Version writes it this way. "Then he [Jesus] said to the crowd,
'If any of you wants to be my follower,
you must turn from your selfish ways,
take up your cross daily,
and follow me.'"
These words haunt me.
Here's why: Either Jesus said them, or He didn't.
He either meant them, or He didn't.
We will either believe them, or we won't.
And, we will either take these words seriously, or we will reject them.
Period.
The logic is quite simple. It has to be one way or another. IF Jesus really said it, then the other option is not possible: there is no way He didn't say it. Logically speaking, it can't be both.
To complicate matters, what I choose to believe about these words doesn't change them at all. I can choose to believe Jesus said them and meant them, but that does not automatically prove they are authentic. The opposite is also true, I can firmly reject these words and completely dis-believe their sentiment. That doesn't mean Jesus did not say these very things, mean these very things, and expect these very things from his followers.
Logic is what it is. And, regardless of what we choose to believe about the fact, Jesus either said these words, or He didn't. It is quite simple.
But, the implications are not quite-so-simple.
The truth is: IF Jesus, the Jesus of the Holy Scriptures, did NOT say these words, then this discussion does not matter. My thoughts, feelings, and response to these statements ONLY matter IF they are true BECAUSE Jesus said them. Because, as I've already confessed, I choose to believe in the Jesus of the Bible. I choose to trust this Jesus for my salvation, redemption, and purpose in life. SO, if he didn't say these words, then I personally don't find much benefit in debating the issue.
But, if Jesus DID say these things, then the next question that begs to be asked is, did he mean them?
I'll save you the pain of trying to track the ramblings of brain and cut right to the issue: I believe firmly that Jesus had to have meant what He said. We are told in no uncertain terms that Jesus' life was without sin (1 Peter 2:22), so he could not have been a liar. He was also perfect (2 Cor 5:21), so he could not have been mistaken. (You could also check out Hebrews 4:14-16 and 1 John 3:5).
Therefore, if those things are true, Jesus had to have meant what He said. It is the only logical conclusion we can come to.
I know there are some who will call into question the authenticity and authority of scripture at this point. That, my friends, is a debate for another season. They are valid questions to be sure, but are not relevant to this particular discussion because I have already said, and I quote, "I have decided to believe in the Jesus of the Bible."
This whole argument stems from that statement of faith.
Faith in the Bible, therefore, is inherent in my questioning.
Let's get back to the question at hand, which is whether or not Jesus said, and meant the words recorded (in the Bible). "'If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.'"
So, if Jesus said these words, and meant these words...what, next?
Either I will believe these words, or I will reject these words. Meaning, having accepted these words as having been spoken and meant by Jesus, the next step is to accept or reject these words.
Either I will believe Jesus' words, or I will not.
Not to be redundant, but these words trouble me. If I want to follow Christ (and I have already confessed to you that I do), then according to this passage I must "turn from my selfish ways..."
What? Stop right there. Is this really saying that if I am to be a true follower of Jesus than I no longer have the right or the authority to live for myself?
Profound.
Jesus tells his followers they must follow completely. There is no option of "kind of" following this Jesus. He is demanding a complete and total commitment from His followers. There is to be no "sort of."
Like I said, these words are haunting.
We live in a world of selfishness. Even within the fellowship of believers there is an "aura" of looking out for "number one." You see this in things like who we vote for during Board elections, how we spend the tithing that comes in from the people, what ministries we most often give of ourselves to, and what people (friends) we surround ourselves with.
And yet, Christ says, if we are to truly follow Him, we are to turn from our selfish ways. If He said it, and If He meant it, what in the world are we going to do with that one?
And, my friends, He didn't stop there.
He went on to say we must take up our cross, daily.
I've thought a lot about the cross over the years. It is an easily identifiable symbol of the Christian faith after all. The cross of Jesus is something we Christians celebrate. We wear it around our necks, or put it on our cars...it is a symbol of the hope and power we have over sin and death because of this person, Jesus, and what happened on His cross.
But, here, before He's even walked down the via dolorosa, or marched up to Calvary (carrying his own instrument of death), or surrendered his body and soul to the torment of a gruesome and painful killing - before any of that has happened, Jesus tells His followers: if we are to be true to His name, we will choose to take up our cross as well.
Remember for a moment that the cross in Jesus' day was NOTHING redemptive. There was NO HOPE, and NO JOY connected with the cross. The cross was for criminals. The cross was for the "lowest of the low" kind of people - individuals whom godly people would never consider themselves to be. The cross was not a unique form of death - it has been reported through the ages as being one of the most gruesome and horrific forms of torture in all of history.
Yet, here, Jesus tells his followers we are to take up our cross daily.
We've already worked our way through the questions of "did Jesus say this," and "did Jesus mean this." We have now moved on to - so, what is our response going to be?
And, here's where the haunting of these words grip me.
Seeing as how the cross represented judgment, pain, sorrow, embarrassment, rejection, and torture (just to name a few), Jesus must be asking something significant of his followers by this statement. He asks us to deny ourselves. He asks us to "take up," or embrace our suffering...and He asks us to do so daily.
There is a prevalent thought in some "churchy" circles, that following Jesus is a recipe for the fulfillment of all our hopes and dreams. The thought is: the closer we follow Jesus the sooner we are led "into the promised land," full of much joy, prosperity, and little suffering.
Where did this idea come from? Certainly God desires to bless His children. That is scriptural as well. Check out: 2 Chronicles 30:9, Matthew 7:11, and Ephesians 1:3, just to name a few.
And, yet - what if the desire of my heart is for a long and fulfilling life, but following Jesus obediently costs me my life? What if I actually lose my life following Christ? That blows up the whole concept of my personal "prosperity" being the point, doesn't it?
What if something I deeply desire (a relationship, status, or "answer to prayer.") does not automatically, or ever, come as I faithfully and obediently surrender to Jesus?
What if, "embracing my cross" actually involves the killing of some dreams, and the death of some personal ambitions? I just do not see another appropriate interpretation of these words of Jesus. I guess we are forced to admit that Jesus is asking something more of us than to live for our own comfort, entertainment and enjoyment.
Here's a confession for you: I am very tired tired of us not "getting it." There is so much faulty thinking in the church today that would subtly tell us to hold on to our hopes and dreams because Jesus is "all about fulfilling them!" Except, I have not experienced this in my life. Not all my hopes and dreams have been fulfilled. I am certain not all will be fulfilled. And this has come as a direct result of obedience to Christ. Does that mean Jesus loves me less, or my faith is not strong enough, or I just haven't waited patiently enough?
Maybe.
But...
(And this is a HUGE BUT)...if Jesus never does fulfill those dreams on my heart, what will that do to my faith in Him? If my faith in Him is dependent upon what He does for me, my faith is quite weak indeed.
Don't you see it? In light of this verse, Jesus telling us to "follow Him," with all that implies - it sort of cuts through all the junky and faulty thinking that equates faith in God, through His son Jesus Christ as some sort of balance sheet. i.e. "If I love God + if I follow God = God will give me everything I want."
Hogwash.
There are many things I want the Lord has not given. There are also many blessings in my life which I have in abundance. I may have never expected these things, but they have been given freely nonetheless. I do not mean to say there is no joy or peace in following Christ completely. That would be heresy indeed.
But, I do mean to clearly say that according to Jesus' own words, if I am to be a true follower of Him, then I must actually be willing to die, to kill off things in my heart and mind that He might not want for my life. I may never know or understand the why of these things.
He doesn't demand that I understand. He asks only that I follow Him in complete obedience.
That's why I started this rant by telling you my "why" questions have moved onto, "Really, Lord?" Meaning, I've asked and wrestled deeply with God about some things in my life. "Really, Lord? Are you seriously asking me to __________," or "Really, Lord? Are you seriously telling me to ____________."
Really, Lord?
But, think about it. He who was not willing to spare His son, demands the same level of faithful obedience from His true followers. It makes sense. We are merely following His example.
Luke 14:27 "And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."
May you have eyes to see and ears to hear. May you also have the grace, faith, strength and courage required to give yourself over in complete obedience to the Holy God who is asking nothing more of you than what He offered on your behalf.
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