The more I learn of God and His ways, the more mysterious He becomes.
The more I discover His truth, the more questions I realize I have.
The deeper I dig, the more I see how very little I really know of God, His heart, and His ways.
From a strictly human point-of-view, this can be frustrating. From the eyes of faith, however, this just goes to further prove the awesome nature of the One who is truly Other: holy, just, righteous, true, and perfectly perfect in his perfection.
One concept in scripture has held me utterly confounded for years. It is the theme of asking, seeking, and knocking… combined with the promise we will receive and find. It is a profound thought.
The Gospel of Matthew states it this way, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened."
It is a simple assurance. And it is, most unfortunately, one I am prone to doubt, and one I struggle to believe.
This is a problem.
Here's why: God’s word says it, clearly… therefore He must mean it, literally… so, there is something severely wrong if I choose to disbelieve it.
Let’s be honest. There are things in scripture that we may not like. There are stories that raise questions we may be unwilling to face. And yet, our objections, fears, and stubbornness do not change the truth of who God is. If there is something in scripture that doesn’t align with our thinking we have one of two logical responses.
One: the problem is God (either His word is imperfect, incomplete, or untrue).
Or, two: the problem is with us (we are imperfect, incomplete, or believing untruth).
Which do you suppose is most likely?
Asking (a.k.a, pleading, coercing, begging, demanding…)
I must confess, my struggle with this concept is quite selfish. I have asked God for things He has not given me. I have asked in seemingly every way possible: tearfully, joyfully, with a broken heart, in humor and in earnest. There are things God still has not granted me. Deep things. Important things. Significant things.
So, out of the pain and the rejection I sense my heart hardening toward the heart and message of God. I read the scriptures, and a huge part of me is skeptical. "Ask and you shall receive." I feel somehow vindicated in my doubt of God’s word, because he has not given me what I want. Therefore, He is the liar, and I am somehow more justified in my reaction.
In reality, though, I am no different or better than a toddler throwing a tantrum in a store because a parent will not allow them the candy or the toy they are reaching for. The truth is, though I may not want to see it, God is actively showing me much grace, even in my sin-based hard-hearted response. Even as I grow more stubborn, He is patiently and gently responding to my anger and bitterness with loving kindness.
No, this IS not fair. It’s not even close. But, the truth is, GOD ALMIGHTY is the one being unfairly treated in this scenario, not me. Because, you see, I am short-sighted. I am judging God (the Almighty creator of the universe) by what he has or has not given to me. How pathetic and disgusting is that?
While it may truly seem unfair that I would not get what I want when I want it, that is not an appropriate picture of the whole story.
The same is true for your story, my friends.
Superficially speaking, you and I are prone to feeling entitled to those things we want most in life. That does not mean our desires and responses are warranted. The real heart of the matter is how undeserved our response is - towards God - when we don’t get what we want or what we believe we “should” receive.
While the lack of getting what I want when I want it feels like a slight to me, it is actually God who is getting snubbed. The truth is, even while I am ranting and raving against a God who would “withhold” that which I want most passionately, I am actually the one in the wrong when I allow my heart to grow hard towards God because of my hurt, pain, or stubbornness. THAT is the unjust. THAT is the unfair. THAT is the problem here.
There are a lot of different motives in the asking. Scripture makes reference to many of these. Let’s limit our search to the Gospel of Matthew, and we will still find more scenarios than we can appropriately handle.
• Herod “asks” the Magi from the east, “Where is the one who has been born King of the Jews?” (Matt 2:2). Herod undoubtedly has ulterior motives in this question.
• The Centurion “asks” Jesus to heal his paralyzed servant (Matt 8:5-13). This asking is full of humble faith. We know this because Jesus is astonished at the depths of this mans sincerity (8:10).
• The Pharisees “ask” why Jesus eats with “sinners.” (Matt 9:9-13). It is obvious they are filled with self-righteous pride and their question is almost sarcastic. Jesus puts them in their place by saying it is for the sinners He, the Messiah, has come.
• Then there is the asking of the Pharisees in order to trick Jesus (Matt 12:9-14). Jesus’ response: He heals the man on the Sabbath anyway. The Pharisees respond by plotting ways to kill him.
• There is the asking of the honestly perplexed (Matt 13:10-17) as Jesus’ disciples wonder why Jesus teaches in parables, not in straightforward simplicity. Jesus responds by referencing Old Testament Prophecy (Isaiah 6:9-10) and leaving the heart of their question unresolved.
• And there is the asking for proof (Matt 16:1-4). Jesus says, the proof has been made plain. Basically, he says, “Take it or leave it. The truth is there for you to see if you so choose.”
The list could continue. There are various ways to ask. There are various motives in the asking. Maybe part of the problem is in our hearts as we are asking. Since God knows our hearts, it is not a mystery to Him why we are asking the questions, or why we are asking for those things. God is not oblivious to the underlying motives in our heart, even if we are.
James 4: 1-3 addresses this issue as well. “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong – you want only what will give you pleasure.” (NLT).
Huh.
Maybe we are the problem here. Maybe it is specifically what we are asking for, or why we are asking for it, that keeps God from fulfilling those desires.
You see, God knows the why behind the asking.
Seeking (child’s play, or desperate search?)
I’ve had reason to search for things before. As a child I loved the game “Hide and Seek.” I’ve actually been known to be quite a master hider myself, and I must confess I truly do love the thrill of stumping a comrade with my excellent skills.
And, unfortunately, since I am prone to misplacing any number of important items, I’ve become accustomed to the pains of “seeking” as an adult as well. I know all-too-well the panic of a real life urgent “treasure hunt” (i.e. for my keys, purse, important receipts, tax-documents – you name it, I’ve probably lost it...and needed desperately to find it.)
There is a difference, isn’t there, between a child’s game and a sincere panic-driven “must find” situation. I’m struck by the significance of that difference as I ponder what Jesus means when he says, “Seek and ye shall find.”
All throughout scripture, we find a God who is desperately longing to be sought after.
In Deuteronomy, God is firmly warning His covenant people of the serious nature of His covenant. He makes provisions for His people, and instructs them on how to live. He warns them: their disobedience will lead them to utter destruction (4:26) and captivity (4:27-28). And then, the word of the Lord to his people, “But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.” God says, “Look, if you disobey me, there will be the most severe of consequences. But, even then, all hope is not lost. Just search for me with all your heart and soul, and you will find me.”
It seems simple, doesn’t it? It may even seem too good to be true. Or, maybe you're thinking "It was true for God’s people back in the days of Moses, but that is no longer applicable to us and our lives today."
Here is my response to those thoughts: I am a firm believer there are some things in scripture shared for a specific purpose and time that are dangerous for us to take out of context and apply to our lives at our whim. Yet on the other hand, there are themes of scripture, which are meant to be shared for all of God’s people in any context. How are we to know the difference?
One way is for us to search the whole of scripture. If something is found only once, we must carefully find the right and God-intended application to our lives, seeing as how we are living in a wholly different world today. On the other hand, if the same word or concept is found more than once in scripture, and was given to people from different cultures, speaking different languages, living in different places at different times, all facing different & varying scenarios… then we would be wise to pay careful attention to that word, because God’s Truth IS timeless.
Let’s see which one this truth is.
One of the most famous of all scriptures is Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you…” It is a verse held onto desperately by many in need. But the heart of that message of hope is incomplete unless we see it in the right context. We must include it with the next verses, 12 -14. “…Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.” God says, (here is my paraphrase of His message), “Yes, I have plans to prosper you, but it is only when you seek me with your whole heart that you will find me, and only then will I bring you out of captivity.”
God wants us to seek Him. The promise is we will find Him when we seek with all our heart. In 1 Chronicles 22:19 we read of the instructions to the people of Israel as they are setting up the kingdom reign of David through Solomon. God clearly instructs his people, “Now devote your heart and soul to seeking the Lord your God…” (22:19).
Pay attention to that word, "devote." It seems quite crucial to the concept.
Then in Joel 2, God begs us to repent wholeheartedly. He says, “Even now…return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." Then Joel says to us, “Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity” (Joel 2:12-13, NIV).
There is this clear and unquestionable sense throughout scripture that God wants our whole hearts, and that He wants us to seek for Him wholeheartedly.
Over and over again, God shares His desire: that we would seek to find Him, we would strive to know Him, we would endeavor to truly worship Him – but in order for this to happen, we must invest our whole selves.
And, that changes the point for us, doesn’t it?
There is a sense of desperation, when we wholeheartedly do something. It is exactly the difference between looking for a friend in a game… or desperately, as if our life depends on it (because it does) searching for something we are lost without.
When Jesus says in Matthew 7:8, “Everyone who seeks, finds,” it seems clear he is referring to the frantic search, not just the fun and whimsical treasure hunt.
And so, we return to the matter at hand. Maybe the problem is in the why I’m asking… or maybe it’s in the how I’m asking. Whatever it is that I am “asking for” or “seeking,” is it a life-or-death issue? Is it the most important search of my life? It is… if I’m asking for and seeking to find the One who is my truest need: the real answer to my truest questions.
Who…or what…determines the answer, or frustrating lack thereof
The truth that God wants us to seek Him seems apparent. And yet, that truth never ceases to amaze me.
God asks us, His people, numerous times, to seek Him. The Creator of the universe desires us to search for Him. Astounding, isn’t it?
Even more amazing still: we are promised, we are assured, more than once, that we will find God when we seek Him. We are (encouraged doesn’t seem strong enough a word) to seek God with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength.
And, for the first time in my life I’m beginning to sense the faith walk that journey truly is.
Here is some of my personal journey of struggle with this concept. May you learn from my wrestling of faith.
While in Seminary I was given an opportunity to take a class called “The Gospel of Matthew.” So, to fulfill the class requirements I spent countless hours one term investing myself in the first book of the New Testament. Now, I am no Bible Scholar. I do not claim to have any special or specific revelation about the Gospel of Matthew. However, I must say it is most certainly a special gift, to have had the chance to study this particular book for a specific season in a fairly intense way.
The result: the Gospel of Matthew holds a special place in my heart even today. It is really quite amazing to see how God’s word becomes more alive and vibrant the more we invest ourselves in it.
Needless to say, the Gospel of Matthew is particularly significant to me, mostly because I have spent some time studying it particularly. During that time of study, the Sermon on the Mount came to “live” in my heart in a significant way. This is important for you to understand, because while the Sermon on the Mount has held particular significance to me, it is specifically one of the passages of scripture I have wrestled most deeply with.
Thus, the faith-battle in my heart. And, the root of my blinded distrust in our precious Savior because of my hard-heart towards His.
There is something profoundly dynamic about the Sermon on the Mount. It is a particular message of Jesus to His disciples, with specific instructions on how we are to live our lives. Over the years I’ve found myself often returning to these words… and an unsettling question resounds in my heart: does my life match up? If not, I am in trouble, because if there is one thing that God’s word is clear about, it is that God’s people are called to live their lives the way His word instructs.
And yet, it wasn’t until I started to compare Matthew’s version of Christ’s sermon with the version found the in the Gospel of Luke that I realized one of the most important truths of my life.
The Gospel of Matthew says, “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened…So, if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him” (Matt 7:7-8,11).
OK, so God says to ask, seek and knock, and we will be given “good gifts.” Seems simple enough to me. God says ask for it, and He will give us the “good gifts.” And, I sense myself unwillingly reverting back to my toddler-esque tantrum… “But, God, there are so many things I have asked you for that I haven’t received! How can your word be true and you not give me what I want? It’s right here in black and white!!!”
So, turn with me to the powerful answer God showed me one morning as I sought Him full of angst and despair. The answer is in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 11, verses 9-10. “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks the door will be opened.”
So far, so good.
Jump with me to verse 13 which holds the key. “So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him.”
And, I am yet again stunned by the word of the Lord.
God promises to give us the “good gifts,” and in our sinful nature, left only to our own shortsighted blindness, we assume that to mean “anything we want.”
No. Wrong. Absolutely not. That's actually not at all what it means.
The truth: God's word says when we seek (with our whole hearts) we will find (that WHO we are seeking for), the Holy Spirit (who IS the full embodiment of every good gift). God’s word is clear: HE is the “good gift” we are to be seeking. HE is the answer to the question we are asking. HE is the reason for the seeking in the first place.
All of a sudden, it makes much more sense. It’s not just the why of my asking, or the amount of desperation behind the search, it is in the what I am asking for in the first place.
Let’s move beyond the fight of semantics for a moment.
If we are going to be serious about our faith, we must do the work of honestly confronting those things that hinder our walk with God. Specifically that means our doubts, fear, insecurities, and the sin in our lives, which gets in the way of His grace having full reign.
If we read these words and feel dissatisfied, somehow we are disappointed in what scripture says, that is because we have not been seeking the right thing… or better said, we have not been seeking the right One. In that case, we have been making something, or someone else the priority of our lives.
That, my friends, is idolatry.
We are to pursue God wholeheartedly. That is when we will find Him. If we are looking for something else, we are wasting our time on something temporal that will eventually fade away. That is dangerous territory. I am reminded of Jesus’ words from Matthew 6:21, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Where is your treasure? Where is your heart? What, or who, is the pursuit of your life? If it is anything less than the Holy God, it will never cease to disappoint, frustrate, and thwart.
It will never satisfy.
But Jesus gives us a simple answer: “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matt 6:33, NLT).
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